best of craigslist

I love it so.

A pro-lifer repents.
The Amityville Cubicle
Karma is a bitch
I hate my girlfriend's gay best friend

and, finally,
why geeks and nerds are worth it

the virgin mary grilled cheese was bad enough

or was it Jesus on the grilled cheese? I forget. I always thought that the reason that sandwich didn't rot was not Divine Intervention but the fact that white bread and american cheese are actually not biodegradable. At any rate, here's more heavenly intervention for you: Jesus spotted in sonogram. Because he doesn't have anything better to do, apparently. From the truly excellent, always outraged, Empire Burlesque.

what is a theory?

A scientific theory or law represents an hypothesis, or a group of related hypotheses, which has been confirmed through repeated experimental tests. Theories in physics are often formulated in terms of a few concepts and equations, which are identified with "laws of nature," suggesting their universal applicability. Accepted scientific theories and laws become part of our understanding of the universe and the basis for exploring less well-understood areas of knowledge. Theories are not easily discarded; new discoveries are first assumed to fit into the existing theoretical framework. It is only when, after repeated experimental tests, the new phenomenon cannot be accommodated that scientists seriously question the theory and attempt to modify it. The validity that we attach to scientific theories as representing realities of the physical world is to be contrasted with the facile invalidation implied by the expression, "It's only a theory." For example, it is unlikely that a person will step off a tall building on the assumption that they will not fall, because "Gravity is only a theory."

now you can sleep at night

but I'm going to ruin it for you. This is my mission in life: disseminating information that freaks people out and ruins their day. That's why people love me so much. They should give me a TV show, in fact. I'd love to tell Bill O'Reilly that, due to the global warming conservatives insist isn't happening, loofahs are no longer available.

So I was reading Martha Beck's Leaving the Saints yesterday. I'd already done my internetting about the Mormon Church, since I have a friend who converted, and there's a large congregation in my home town. I'd also read Jon Krakauer's truly excellent Under the Banner of Heaven. I found out about the special underwear, the secret handshake required to get into heaven, the fig leaf aprons and berets one wears when getting baptized, the "magical peepstones" that allowed Joseph Smith--an uneducated snake oil salesman, basically--to read Ancient Egyptian. I learned about how the Mormon Church buys up old Books of Mormon--because it is often rewritten. Nothing freaked me out quite as much, however, as finding out that (according to Beck, a former LDS member, and I have no reason to doubt her claims) the C.I.A. heavily recruits Mormon men. They're all squeaky clean--they don't even drink caffeine--and most of them have learned a language while on their mission. Think abou this. The C.I.A....is staffed...by men...who wear underwear with secret symbols on them...believe that the Second Coming will happen in Missouri...that American Indians are the lost tribes of Israel...that they will each be awarded their own planet when they die...

Well, perhaps this does explain the puzzling lack of "I" in the C.I.A.

read this

Someone actually told the truth to shame the Devil. Jim Moran, D-VA, you're my new favorite person.

On Social Security:
Raw Story: If Social Security is solvent, then what do you think President Bush is trying to accomplish?

Moran: He wants to dismantle a program that defines what the Democrats are proudest of. That’s what this is about. The Republicans—almost all of them—opposed Social Security when it was proposed by Franklin Roosevelt. Almost all of them opposed Medicaid. They voted against Medicare in 1965. So these are programs that provide a safety net for the poor and I think the Republicans basically resent the poor and they figure if we can get the poor investing in the stock market, maybe they’ll start thinking like Republicans. God help us.

On Sycophants:
Raw Story: President Bush is holding an event to promote his Social Security plan in Falls Church today, in your district.

Moran: He’s having one of these rallies. Everybody has been pre-selected. Only Republican cheerleaders.

Raw Story: Do you really think the president is sheltered from those he’s pitching his plan to?

Moran: The only actual news that he reads is the sports section. All the national news, all the opinions that he gets have been filtered, and it goes to his daily briefing that has already been pre-screened to give him what he wants to read. He doesn’t read any books, and he doesn’t talk with people that don’t already agree with him. He’s surrounded himself with ideological sycophants. And the biggest ass-kisser of all is Dick Cheney.