In my world travels, which have, admittedly, been limited to Western Europe (and that is the world, no?) I have never seen such blithe bicycling skills. First of all, extremely fashionable and well-dressed people bicycle around, which never happens in the U.S., where everything but a car is For Poor People. So here you'll routinely see women in stiletto heels and three hundred euro jeans talking on a cell phone while pedaling themselves around. The Dutch have also clearly figured out the load tolerances of bicycles, which means they know how many children, dogs, friends, and groceries their bicycle will hold. Quite a few, as it turns out.
It does help that this country is flat as a pancake (which is, of course, from a Dutch word: pannenkoeken).
I spent some time last night watching television, and here's what I found out. The Dutch all speak English: half of the channels are in English with Dutch subtitles. Dutch TV is no better than, and in many cases is much worse than, American TV (no, you say, it's not possible. But I assure you, it is). The laugh track is still alive and well in the Netherlands. So far a personal favorite is Tansen met de Stars: On Ijs. Dancing with the Stars, on ice! How awesome is that?
There is a game show--I am not making this up--that is entirely about grammar and spelling. Contestants have to pick out which word in a sentence is incorrect, and then they move into a bonus round where they have to decide if a word is misspelled. I can't see this catching on in the U.S.
Damn, Europeans play such great soccer. It's a beautiful game to watch over here.
So now there's a guy interviewing a porn star (on location, that is, at the house where porn is being filmed). V. average looking Dutch guy (dressed), Spanish porn star (completely nude, and there is clearly not a prohibition on full frontal male nudity here) discussing how to talk dirty in a porn movie. Okay, next channel.
Gender roles still somewhat intact, here: happy housewives using marvelous cleaning products. Then again, this is probably made by an American P.R. firm.
CNN: Valerie Plame. Can I confess something here? I find this whole Plame/Libby thing, along with the U.S. attorney thing, completely fucking boring. For one thing, the Plame thing has gone on for literally years at this point. Of course The Administration leaked her name. Of course they didn't give a shit that she was undercover. Of course they did it for political retribution. They have lied about everything all the time from day one. They are power-hungry, corrupt, motherfucking liars. Let's focus: over three thousand Americans, and tens of thousands of Iraqis, are dead because of these people and for no other reason. That they leaked the name of a C.I.A. agent, while inexcusable, is not surprising. And furthermore, the mainstream media swallowed it all like a ten dollar whore. Excessive attention now does not excuse your inept credulity then.
On the same lines: Alberto Gonzales has sought ways to subvert, overturn, destroy, denigrate, piss on, everything our country was founded upon and that which we should hold most sacred. He has used the Constitution of the United States to wipe Bush's ass. He has routinely broken the law because he and The Administration think that they are above the law. He is a snivelling little pissant. And again, we're surprised that they fired people who weren't "loyal to the President"? I'm surprised they haven't suspended elections and started rounding up the opposition. There's the whole state of Alaska, just sitting there, looking oh-so-much like Siberia. Jesus, people, wake up. I've said it before, I'll say it again: we're now stuck in a national version of Weekend at Bernie's, everyone running around propping up the dead rotting corpse of our democracy and pretending it's alive and well.
So, back to porn. Now, this is something you wouldn't see on American TV: the average Dutch guy gets to fuck the porn star. And they're showing it. I think slapping a woman's breasts from side to side while fucking her is kind of rude, frankly. But he seems to be having a fine time.
Sweet. Entourage is on.
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