Unclear on the Concept

John Boehner, in opposing the stimulus bill: “The president made clear when we started this process that this was about jobs,” Mr. Boehner said after the vote. “Jobs. Jobs. Jobs. And what it’s turned into is nothing more than spending, spending and more spending.”

Yes. Well. How is it, exactly, that one creates jobs without spending money? Oh, right, tax cuts for the wealthy. Then they can hire more nannies, and--hey, let's just go 18th century--scullery maids. You'll get one half-day off a week, 12 pence in spending money, and hand-me-downs on Boxing Day.

Even if one were to give tax cuts to the middle class (Republicans guffaw, puff cigars) that still wouldn't create jobs. The idea--if it can be so called--is that you give people tax cuts, and they immediately hie themselves off to Best Buy and get stuffs. This, in turn, makes manufacturers make more stuffs! For which they need to hire people, and thus, tax cuts=jobs.

There are just a few little problems with this virtuous cycle. One: most people are so screwed, economically and otherwise, right now, that they will not be taking their pittance and spending it at Best Buy or Wal-Mart or wherever. They will be using it to pay down their debt, or pay their mortgage, or keep themselves afloat while they look for new jobs, since everyone has been fired. Two: even if people did decide to spend money on stuffs rather than milk, most of these factories are overseas. So Americans buying manufactured goods does not translate into American jobs. It may help the Chinese, or the Indians, but not us. See? Three: Even if, in a sort of [then a miracle occurred] way, tax cuts did magically rebound to create American jobs, this would still take a while. And we don't have a while, okay? We need to hire people immediately, post-haste, and the only entity apparently capable or willing to do that is the Federal Fucking Government.

Can we make intelligence tests a pre-condition for being a member of the House or Senate? Can we require some basic courses in economics? Biology? History? Jeebus.