New Theory: The Onion is Running the Republican Party

What else, really, could explain the hilarity of "Teabagging?" And this:

And then we have peerless reasoning like this, courtesy of the NYTimes' new Bill Kristol (apparently not an improvement, but with a funnier name) Ross Douthat. In his "column" he writes about how the tricksy tricksy left, led by Obama, is going to Gay Marry everybody after everyone gets Free Abortions (and a lollipop! This is socialism!). See if you can follow the reasoning here: "But as Peter Berkowitz noted in a prescient essay for Policy Review in 2005, the gay marriage movement is working with the grain of American political history, in which the expansion of rights 'steadily erodes the limits on individual choice established by law and custom.'" I see: giving people more rights destroys other people's ability to make choices. Interesting. So, for example, when African-Americans won rights, that just totally destroyed the individal choice that individual white people were making to enslave them. What a bummer.