What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

I am frequently accused of being a cynic. And this is so, though of course like all cynics I think I am simply a realist. Example:

IDEALIST T.A.: So my students would really like more time to work on the essay, so could we get those paper topics out earlier? They're really committed to their topics.

CYNICAL SELF: 95% of those kids are going to write their paper the night before it's due, probably after buying Ritalin from the kid down the hall.

IDEALIST T.A.: No! Well, maybe your kids aren't as inspired as my kids are by this class (smiles at professor).

CYNICAL SELF: Or maybe my students aren't trying to bullshit me into getting them extra time to find a paper on the internet, because I scare them.

IDEALIST T.A.: You're such a cynic! I could never live like that. I like to look for the best in people, don't you?

CYNICAL SELF: No.

So anyhow. Apparently the Gulf of Mexico is where the military dumps much of its unexploded ordinance. And it is also, as you may have recently noticed, where a lot of off-shore drilling activity takes place. I'm sure this adds just that little bit of extra excitement oil rig workers need.

This reminds me of trying to read Ghost Wars, an excellent book that I will probably never finish. Because it starts with the war between the Soviets and the Afghanis, which was, first of all, really for no reason whatsoever, some Cold War nonsensery about spreading or supporting communism. And then in a shocking turn of events the Reagan administration gets involved, and starts handing out expensive and very effective weaponry to basically anyone who showed up saying they were going to fight the Evil Commies. The part that kills me is that they expected people to turn them back in after the war with the Soviet Union was over. Instead, they used them to fight each other, and now they use them to shoot down American planes. Fun!

In both situations, people had to think that Everything Is Under Control, betting that the outcome of the situation would be the best possible outcome (The Afghanis would never descend into sectarian civil conflict, and will always be on our side; oil companies can be trusted to be cautious when drilling in a minefield). This is why cynicism is actually a helpful attitude, and clearly more cynics should be consulted about policy making, and oil drilling licenses, and the minor problems that may occur when we litter the ocean floor with bombs.