Against my better judgement and ignoring the wise advice of my peers, I watched the preznit give his SOTU address tonight. It was not nearly as teeth-grindingly awful as the last five. I did not once feel the urge to shoot the TV. The smirks were kept to a minimum. Still and all, who the fuck actually believes anything this man says about anything anymore? Sure, there's the twelve people in North Dakota who are still on board. Preznit-Appointed-by-God could tell them that there are aliens coming who want to experiment on their babies, and those aliens are named "Nancy Pelosi" and "Hillary Clinton" and they would just nod and put lamb's blood on their door, or whatever the Bible says to do. (Yeah, I haven't read it in a long time, okay? Actually I'm allergic to religion.) By the way--Dick Cheney's normal face: causes kittens to turn into stone. Dick Cheney smiling: causes me to run for the nearest bomb shelter. I may have my doubts about immutable truth, but here's one: whatever causes Dick Cheney to smile is never, ever anything I would smile about.
Yes, so even Dubya couldn't put his whole heart in it this time. He was trying to sell someone else's goods: the Democrats, and you could tell he was pretty bitter about it. We're not going to privatize Social Security, we're going to save it? What, now we're concerned about balancing the budget? When did this happen? This whole line about cutting the deficit in half is great, until you remember: we didn't have a goddamn deficit when this man-child came into office.
There were times when I wondered if Nancy Pelosi was going to go all Maxwell Silver Gavel on Dubya. There's the gavel, lying right there, oh, so tempting, so heavy...but she knows that Cheney will freeze her with his android stare of ultimate grimness, so she waits for another day.
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