Sincerely Useless Shit

I'm looking at the Williams-Sonoma catalog, and while, let's face it, I do kind of love Williams-Sonoma, there are times when I wonder if the staff of the Onion has taken over their catalog. Consider: Yes it is, it is a marshmellow kit! With molds and everything!

Or:


A vegetable grip. For when your fingers just won't do.

And, of course: an electric vacuum marinator! "Ideal for last minute cooking, this marinator accelerates saturation..."

But wait, there's more: An avocado slicer and pitter for only $15.95. When a butter knife just won't do...

There's the large mortar and pestle, made of volcanic rock, of course, in which I can smash up some perfectly sliced avocados.


Finally, for all the table linens you spend so much time ironing:
the Miele rotary iron.